The CareGiver

 The Caretaker.

A to me accompanied by her70 yr old husband at my Pain Clinic. 

She was Last stage Cancer Breast with Metastasis in bone,Iiver and lungs.

She was in severe pain and mentally and physically drained. One of her relative Doctor had informed her that she had few days left.

The whole atmosphere in my room was sombre. 

I explained to her " Aunty, you are blessed to have a wonderful family. Such caring and loving husband and kids.For their sake,you stay strong. I assure you that pain part will be taken care of.Whatever months left spend memorable moments with your family".I assured her husband that his wife will get painfree last days of her life.

I had to give her 2/3 Various nerve blocks with Morphine tablets. 

She would have mood swings of depression,Violent abusive outbursts,Fits of melancholy.She would stop taking feeds. She would beg for euthanasia. 

In all this turmoil,the husband was patient,calm,and gave full attention, tender loving care to his ailing wife.He dedicated totally in her services.

Do not forget,he too was 70yrs old.He too had his own share of medical problems.

He took care of all needs of his wife sincerely. 

After 6 months, she developed multi organ failure and succumbed to Cancer.

The story starts now.

For almost 3years, the old man had dedicated all his time taking care of his ailing wife.

In the course of time,his own health,social life,mental peace got neglected.

After the death of wife,He suddenly felt Emptiness,Vacuum,Depression. He attempted suicide.His daughter from US called me and requested to sort out something. 

In the 6 months of Palliative care to his wife,The husband had developed trust and affection towards me.

With the help of Psychiatric team, we managed to wean him off from Loneliness. 

Dear Friends,when some person in the family is ailing for a long period of time,...it takes heavy toll on the caretaker.Unknowingly ,the Caretaker gets affected mentally and physically drained and stresses out.

After the death of the patient, the Caretaker faces sudden Vacuum,a void space,in life Depression and Loneliness creeps in.

The CareTaker who had been so busy taking care of the patient,..now doesn't know what to do with Life.An Empty Nest Syndrome creeps.

This sometimes causes Suicidal thoughts.

So solution to this is ....

Whe one person is ailing,each family member should take turns in caretaking.Thus dividing work load and giving each other some free breathing space.

As we dedicate caring for the ailing,equal care of the care taker is required. Especially after passing away of patient. 

It is Godliness to serve the Ailing...but in the process...do respect the Caretaker.who is incarnation of God.