Emotional Attachment

Emotional Attachment. A baby in the womb,gets connected to the mother through the Umbilical Cord. When it is born,the cord is cut Physically the baby gets separated from the Mother.But the Emotional Attachment remains forever between the two. The initial period,the baby 's Emotional Attachment becomes more Emotional Dependency.The Mother is needed every moment. A few seconds of separation from the Mother is not tolerated by the baby. As days pass,the baby gets to know other members of the family.so it's Emotional Attachment towards them gets added. Then,school life begins. The initial days of separation from home and mother and rest family members....brings anxiety and tears to the baby. But soon meeting new friends, teachers....they get added to the Emotional Attachment of the kid. College and Youth bring Romance.A different kind of Emotional Attachment. Adulthood brings Marriage,Work......Spouse and Kids add to not only Emotional Attachment but also Responsibility. Work adds Passion and Stress added to Life. Man is indeed a very Emotional Animal. But different from other Animals because of a Strong Brain which enables Man to control The Emotional Attachment. But in some cases,the Emotional Attachment becomes a bit more strong....leading to Emotional Dependency. And in certain people....this Dependency turns into OBSESSION. As an Anaesthesiologist working with many people and with many Psychiatrist..... I have come across all forms of Emotional Connection......Some healthy....which shows Empathy,Affection and Concern for everyone and everything. But the Emotional Dependency turning to Obsession is harmful to the person and also to that person for whom the feelings are expressed. A baby cries when it's mother goes to washroom. It can't tolerate even a few moments of separation. Such episodes of Emotional Dependency....brings so much anxiety....that either the baby pacifies it's feelings by throwing a temper tantrum....or Breath holding....or hurting itself At times,baby finds solace from Anxiety episodes by sucking thumb or pacifier or any such similar objects. Such incidents need not be overlooked.These situations need to be handled delicately by introducing other family members to the baby. As baby starts growing, some over protective family members cocoon the baby a lot...resulting in complete Emotional Dependency of the Baby. If the baby gets overtly given lot of attention.....Emotional Dependency towards people, objects,environment...doesn't allow the baby to adjust,tolerate,empathize to a different atmosphere and different mindsets.A slight change in mindset,routine or environment brings Anxiety. The release of an Overtly Anxious mind ...emotions vary from Depression to Violence. Either you hurt yourself or hurt other in Anxiety,Anger,and Fear. The Emotional Dependency of the child....when entering the outside world....away from the comfort zone.....brings Anxiety due to separation. This Anxiet at times makes the child vulnerable to bad company, bad vices,bad habits.......at times addiction, substances abuse and crime. If the anxious kid doesn't get enough support and strength from Family at right time....the Dependency turns into Obsession. I want to share with you some stories about Extreme Cases of OBSESSION. A baby was born weak.So parents and family members were overprotective and over indulging.This lead to Temper Tantrums, Breath holding for any situation which went against the kid.....especially for toys. The Emotional Attachment to his Toys in growing up age turned to Bikes.and further to Cars. That grew to Obsession. Anyone touching his Bike ,he would hurt himself by injecting mosquito repellant into his skin and cause Ulcers.This scared everyone...and nobody went against his wishes. Only when he cut his wrist because his brother took his favorite Car for a ride....did the Parents consult a Specialist. Another incident is.....Emotional Attachment of Mother to her Kid ....to the extent of Emotional Dependency. When kids leave home for better opportunities in life.....the Emotionally Dependent mother doesn't know how to tolerate the separation. At times,suffering from Depression.....and I have seen extreme Obsession of a Mother towards her only Son....to the extent of creating Emmergency Situations like Chest Pain or Unconsciousness....which forced her son to give up his brilliant Career and be with his Mother all the time taking care of her. The Obsessive Behaviour of the Lady towards her son, in few years, forced the young boy consult a Psychiatrist. Emotional Attachment of a Person to his or her Spouse.....or a Man to a Woman....A woman to a Man.... This feeling is beautiful. But when it goes to Emotional Dependency to the loved one...... And into Obsession in extreme cases..... Many a stories have been written on this..... Many films have been made on this extreme Emotional feelings. Many a History written Many wars fought..... Emotional Attachment is very beautiful. Natural feelings in every Man and Animal. One needs to control....this Attachment. Emotional Dependency is not good for either of person. Dear Friends, We must learn to get Detached by that thing or relationship.....when we find that the Emotional Attachment is moving towards Dependency. If we don't detach ourselves earliest..... It grows into Obsession. Obsession hurts not only us but also the people around. How do we do it?????? Once the Umbilical cord is cut......allow the kid to explore the world in its own way. Support,protect,shower love ,affection and care. But ,we must try not to make the child overtly dependent, and vulnerable. Love the child ,provide the child with facilities and opportunities for his better life and healthy growth. But don't overindulge. Allow the child to face his own battles. Support but not weaken the child. Allow the child to meet new people, new surroundings, different mindsets....so that child learns adjustment and Tolerance., Patience and Empathy. Emotional Attachment is healthy for the wellbeing of humans and Society. But Dependency and Obsession weaken and harm humans and Society. Love is Beautiful Lust is not. Attachment is healthy. Obsession is dangerous. - Dr Tripti Milind Galgali. Hubli.