How much is enough

How much love is must?????? A 16yr old boy was brought into Operation theatre for Debridement of Ulcer on foot. This healed after few days. 2 months later,he came again with a similar ulcer over other foot. Likewise,every few months similar Ulcers were seen over different areas of legs. All tests were conducted but no diagnosis for cause of Ulcers could be found. A year or so.....this same boy landed up in Emmergency with slit of wrist. So this time, he got referred to a Psychiatrist. A couple sessions revealed a horrific surreal narrative. The boy used to inject into his skin over foot and legs ....by himself ...." Liquid Mosquito Repellent "...... That was the cause of the Ulcers over Foot and Legs.. ..... Why?????? Each time the issue was Anger,Attention, Revenge,Threaten,Scare......whatever. This kid was born weak.Hence,the parents were over protective for him.Every demand of his used to be met.Every word of his was followed. As he grew up......his Aggression took over him. He wanted a Bike. When parents refused....he injected Mosquito Repellent to cause Ulcer. The scared parents....in sympathy bought him the Bike. So ,next time when he demanded a Car....to get his parents succumb ,he again injected Mosquito Repellent to cause Ulcers. He slit his wrist when his Elder brother much against his wishes...took his Car for a drive. How much Love is must from a Parent to the Child??????? I was left wondering 🤔 I am a Parent myself. But not an Expert on this matter.Nor am I a Professional Counselor. Many a times,we parents are clueless about How much is too much......or How much is enough?????? We parents want to provide the best for our kid. We feel.... I didn't get this as a kid....let me provide for my kid. I have worked hard....so let me spend on my kid. I have earned a lot....let me show that by buying Expensive things for my kid. So our any vested personal feelings...make us provide everything for our kid before the kid even thinks of it...forget demanding. We equate....Love....Parental Love.....to Materialistic achievements. At times,we as Parents, become so busy....that " Time" can't be given to the kid. So " Time" gets replaced by " Materialistic " fulfillment. The guilt of a Parent is solved by providing Money to the kid. What in younger age....used to be Chocolate, Pizza,Burger......Cycle.......ends with Bikes,Cars,Addiction etc etc. In short ,My Love when Excess.....Uncontrollable......Biased.......overlooks every mistake of my kid........ And harms my kid. Mahabharata points this. Dhritarashtra was "blindly " in love with his sons. So much so that.......what initially were harmless mistakes......reached Draupadi Vastraharan....... An absolute outrageous behaviour by the Kaurava Brothers........ This led to the Mahabharata War.....and End of the Kauravas. As Parents, agreed we must shower Love to our kids....... But not be Blinded by Love. A friend of mine suggested " Create Hunger in your Kid"...... Yes.so rightly advised. We must make our kid work hard towards achieving whatever they aspire. It can be anything .....a Pizza ......or a Car .....or an Expensive Education......... Creating Hunger towards their Goals...... Develops Focus,Dedication, Sincerity in kids......... There is no Measurement for Love...... How much is Right......Wrong....... More.....Less....... Yearning....... Abundance.......?????? Nobody knows..... Can't be Defined...... But each kid must be made to realize..... With Freedom comes Responsibility..... No shortcuts.....to Success..... No Free meals in life..... Be Hungry......work hard......be Sincere. By A Parent ...still learning....... Dr Tripti Milind Galgali Hubli