Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure. A Professor tried to commit suicide.He was brought into Operation theatre for Electroconvulsive Therapy and counseling. I being the Anaesthesiologist was part of this treatment for few sessions.....and his treatment which went on for few days..... A strong dominating personality had been severely heartbroken and was simply inconsolable. " Where did I go wrong?????" He would just burst into tears.....crying continuously each session. This Professor had a daughter who he loved very much. His Apple of the eye.Her every wish was fulfilled. The daughter too loved her Father and was very studious and sincere.Did every thing to make her Father proud. After her 12th Std,she approached her Father requesting him to allow her to study in bigger city away from their Tier 3 mofussil town. Dear Father tried to talk to her about pressures of big cities at such young age. " Dear Daughter,complete your degree in our town ...and then at a matured age pursue your career further in bigger town". But the young girl was adamant. She went to bigger city to pursue education....convincing her Father Finally. After few months ,she came to her Father" I am in love with a boy.I want to marry him" Father was shocked.but calmly counseled her" Dear Daughter,I understand your feelings. First you complete your education. Get a Degree.Get a job.Become independent to first take care of yourself. Then I myself will get you married to that boy." Few months later,he got a suicide note.....as his daughter committed suicide by jumping in front of a running train. Post Mortem showed she was pregnant. Suicide note read " Dear Father,I am really sorry. Forgive me. I betrayed your Trust and Love towards me.I proved to be a Bad Daughter. I brought shame to you." The inconsolable Father....would ask only one question " Where did I go wrong? I gave her all the freedom. I gave her all the love." Whose Fault was it? Nobody was actually at fault. Neither the parent. Nor the girl. Today,modern parenting makes us parents discuss everything with our kids.We don't put restrictions on our kids as was in our teens. We give Freedom to our kids. Then are the kids at fault. No........ Today's kids are well knowledgeable. They get lot of information about everything and anything....thanks to Technology. But do they have that maturity to understand and fathom that Knowledge. No. Peer Pressure........ They succumb to peer pressure. This Peer Pressure makes them Adventurous. This Peer pressure makes them reckless. Thrill and Pleasures.....hormones and Adrenalein. Physical attraction. I am an Anaesthesiologist and myself have kids in this Difficult Parenting Age..... In my practice of Anaesthesia,..... I see so many bike and car accidents happen to teens and youth. Some losing their life. Some becoming morbid throughout the life. Unprotected sex is becoming very common today in age as young as 13 yrs. STDs,Teen pregnancies,Molestation.......Addiction, Substance abuse, Violence. I see kids coming with Anxiety disorders,Depression,Aggressive behaviour......Rebellious behaviour .....taking steps which hurt them...harm them..... Disgruntled, Disappointment. Many blame it on Generation Gap. Many blame it on Social media. Many blame it on bad influence in Society. No. It is Peer Pressure. Every kid wants attention. Every kid wants to be recognized. No kid wants to be left out. No kid wants to be alone........ This Peer Pressure drives them to be adventurous. Forces them to take risks. Compels them to commit mistakes. At times even perform acts which may hurt them....harm them. Then.....how do we protect our kid from Peer Pressure? We can't protect them. We can't teach them on this subject. We can just make them become Responsible for the Freedom given to them........ How do we do it?????? I am not an expert on this. As a Parent and an Anaesthesiologist..... I see the struggles of myself as a Parent..... And many Parents like me. I see the pressures of my kids....and Many kids like them. I feel " Communication " ....is very important. It plays key role. Parents must communicate, talk....and most importantly " Listen".... to what their kid feels about everything....... Kids must communicate...." Talk" to their parents inspite of that generation gap.....express their anxiety, their stress,their thoughts...to their parents. Seek help from their parents every time they feel lonely,edged,helpless,disappointed......despaired.......... They should understand...their friends are equally immature and inexperienced as they are.They can't be Mentors or advisors.They can't solve your problems or find solutions for your problems. Seek advice and help either from your parents or teachers. Don't hesitate to approach expert professional Counsellors..... Today most Institutions have Counsellors appointed for this purpose....... Dear Friends, No parent wants to see their kid in agony or distress. No kid intends to hurt their Parent. As a Society, we want safety and healthy surroundings for the next responsible generation. We don't want to see Peer Pressure spread as a Pandemic......succumbing our kids. We must work on how to tackle this " Peer Pressure" in schools,colleges.....and surroundings. Social Media has a huge impact on kids. Documentaries, Films,Videos need to be made on this subject. Chapters in Curriculum needs to be taught fir awareness. Counseling of parents and kids on this aspect is needed. As Parents,we need to assure our kids regarding Support and Strength ..... That window of Communication.....needs to be assured to the kid which will always be open....in crisis or on Crossroads...... Parenting is challenging. Being a kid is even more challenging today....filled with competition and pressures. Kids of today....are Citizens of tomorrow. Let's work together for a healthy society tomorrow. Dr Tripti Milind Galgali. Anaesthesiologist Hubli.