Self Esteem

 Self Esteem.

" OH! He/ She is not upto the mark".

A very random comment. 

Don't we many many many times casually pass our judgement about a person????

A very random and casual comment. 

The person passing this comment may not feel it's importance or might have unknowingly spoken them.

But do we realize the effect this random comment passed just casually, has on the specified person?

Abhishek Bacchan recently in an interview spoke about this.

A series of flops in his debuting career,got media comparing him with his legendary father ,Shri Amitabh Bacchan.

" AB's baby is just not upto the mark."

This comment coming from everyone and everywhere,affected him so much,that in many parties,Abhishek would himself comment in front of his mother and people around" I am a flop".

Many kids in our current marks oriented curriculum fail to bring in those percentage....or that All India Rank( AIR) in any competitive exam.....

Or.....

In later life,the number of zeroes added to a digit in their pay package....( Lakhs,Crores......7 zeroes,8 zeroes added to the digit)

Or.....

Materials acquired in form of House,Cars,and lavish lifestyles. 

If not....

A random statement....

" He/ She is not upto the mark."

What is or Where upto is that mark which decides our essence and existence ?

Who are we to draw that qualifying mark which decided the capability and credibility of an individual?

Dear Friends, 

A few marks,a few zeroes,or a few materialistic accomplishment never decides our credibility. 

The essence of life is enjoying the journey and process.

The credibility of our existence is upon who much have we contributed to society and empowered ourselves and people around ourselves. 

Judging an individual randomly over few marks,or few numbers.....at one point or any exam......and declaring him/ her as " Flop"....

It does affect the self esteem of that individual. 

And if near and dear ones do that especially if parents pass such random comments casually in a conversation unknowingly....

It just hits the Self Esteem of the kid.

Self doubt arises .Low self confidence. 

The kid starts doubting hus/ her own credibility and efforts.

In later life, self humiliation and self derogatory perspective affects them mentally. 

Dear Friends, 

Our kids ,our youth....are the citizens of tomorrow. ....They are going to be The Society tomorrow. 

If we want our Society to be healthy and progressive tomorrow, our present young ones need to have a Pragmatic environment today.

The kids need to be encouraged and carry a energetic enthusiastic zeal towards life journey. 

Our youngsters must always be positive in their attitudes. 

They must face rejection and failures as a learning part of their life not as punishment. 

We ,elders,in this matter, must never judge a kid by the yardstick of failures and rejection faced .....but by the achievements ( even if few handful).

Comparison with self....not peers.

Achievable targets and goals boost confidence. Targets are never same for everyone. They vary between individuals. 

Grading must be in performance throughout the year. Not one single exam.

In a huge population like India,marks and ranks are the only way to allot seats and jobs.

But judging an individual upon performance in a single exam is unfair.

Self Esteem is a delicate thread.

Once this thread breaks.....the existence of an Individual gets shaky and imbalanced.

Self Doubt is unhealthy and dangerous. 

How does we protect the Self Esteem of our child in vulnerable situations like exams and recruitment?

Trust and Support.

Teach the child to believe in self.

Teach the child to accept failures and rejection as part of life journey. Learn from mistakes and correct themselves. 

Mentally Strong and ever be ever Pragmatic. 

Compare self by not against peers but self.

Compare ourselves by progress over past performance. 

Dear youngsters,

You decide your value and your worth.If any other person doesn't understand your value....that person is worthless and best ignored.

Your existence depends upon you.Simply you.Not what you are or what you got.

Life is a journey. Enjoy the process.

You are beautiful. 

Dr Tripti Milind Galgali 

Hubli .