Life after 40

 Life after 40

" The person you are trying to call is not responding. Please call later."

I was trying to call my son studying Medicine 1st year. It was Sunday afternoon. 

I tried calling my daughter in college. She told me she is busy studying for exams starting from Monday and cut the call.

I felt sad and lonely. 

For so many years I had given my everything for them.Now they are so busy that they don't have time for me.

I am a freelance Anaesthesiologist. I am busy with my practice most of the time. 

Right from 7th standard, I have always been busy with studies and extra curricular activities. So never bothered with housekeeping and culinary skills. Then came Medical college and Post graduation. Life became even more hectic with absolutely no time for feminine skills like Grooming, knitting, embroidery, housekeeping or simple cooking. 

I got married immediately after Post graduation. 

Life became a big Rollercoaster ride. 

Kids, Private practice, hectic schedules of kids, myself and my better half 

Drained me physically and emotionally. 

I had absolutely no moment for myself. No Me Time. 

My whole world revolved in getting kids ready,packing their tiffins, dropping off and picking them from school.Attending their Parent Teacher meetings, Taking them to swimming classes, Badminton classes. Their extra curricular activities and school exams brought into me lots of Anxiety and took lot of my time.

Adding to this, was my equally busy Anaesthesia practice. 

In all this humdrum, I had lost the real me.My hobbies like dancing and singing. Painting pictures, Social networking..all got lost. 

I didn't have any very close friends nor got time to be a part of any friend circle. 

Five years back,my both kids decided to study outside.so both went off to hostel. 

I thought my busy Anaesthesia practice would make me occupied. But I was wrong. 

The free time I had on weekends, I was left clueless as to what I should do. 

I had no Housekeeping skills or culinary interest.

I was not spiritual. 

I had neglected my social life all these years. 

My loneliness started haunting me.

I experienced the " Lonely Nest syndrome ".

Dear friends, after 40,when our kids become independent from us ladies or we retire from work.....the sudden Free time we get....we get overwhelmed. We get confused. We get the feeling of being unwanted, unimportant. 

This may be attributed to the physical changes our body undergoes. The slipping off of youth from our hands,and hormonal imbalance makes us vulnerable. We get hurt and emotional for small things. We tend to remember sad, and forgotten memories of the past. 

Depression,and Irritability is experienced. 

How to deal with these?

How to begin life after 40s?

I am not an expert. But I would love to share with you small changes I brought in myself and my life.

Health

I started giving priority to my health. I get my Blood investigations and Mammography on my birthday every year. 

I keep track of my Blood pressure,my monthly cycles, pulse and weight. 

I joined a Fitness Club where all age groups meet. I consulted a dietician for healthy eating. Now I am regular with my fitness and diet. 

Hobbies 

I started gardening. I have a small garden with kitchen related plants. 

I dance occasionally. But I'm not able to practice much due to my Anaesthesia schedule. 

I have learnt few dishes from YouTube. 

Also do little things for Housekeeping. 

Social Networking 

Thanks to WhatsApp, I have been able to connect with many friends. We do meet occasionally. Also chat with each other sharing our thoughts and ideas. 

Relationship goals 

I now understand what my parents went through after I went to hostel for further studies. So do talk to them often.Once a year, I go to visit them.Spend few days exclusively with them.

My husband and myself are learning to spend time with each other without kids.Just us.We go for a late night Icecream or some occasional movie. Sunday evening is for us .Spent listening to some great music or me doing Karaoke to his favorite song. 

We cook some dish together or just laze on Sunday afternoons. 

Kids call up when they want to talk to me. Or else WhatsApp is always there for some funny Emoji. 

I am not much into Spirituality. 

Just an occasional visit to a temple. 

What next?

After 50s,I am planning to wean myself off from my Anaesthesia practice. So that I can travel. 

Also I have started writing occasionally. So after 50s,I may think about writing a lot more.

My desire is to run a half marathon. May that wish also become a reality. 

I want to live my life fully without any remorse. 

I do Philanthropy every moment I get. 

It brings me immense satisfaction. 

I hope by sharing my thoughts and my experiences, somebody out there would be benefitted. 

It would bring joy in my life. 

I neither seek name nor fame.No money no material brings smile.....

What I seek is Inner peace and Joy....