Ever Comparing Ever Competing

 Ever Competing,Ever Comparing......

Dr Tripti Milind Galgali.
Hubli.


A 35yr Lady came to my Pain Clinic with severe Pain in Right Hand,Neck .
I prescribed her certain Drugs and asked her to Follow up Every 15days.
After 2 visits,her Pain zeroed down to main root of Pain .It was the muscles around her shoulder blade.They had become Hard and Swollen.( Chronic Inflammation).
I prescribed her some specific medication for which she responded well. She again revisited with same complaints after 3 months.This time,her husband accompanied her.He looked at me" Doctor, you are beautiful and so intelligent. " Then he turned at his wife" You have been visiting her so many times, couldn't you learn anything from her......" and a rant of sentences demotivating and insulting her.
I asked her husband to wait outside.
Got counseling the demoralized lady.
When she burst into tears and started expressing her feelings " My husband always compares me with other Ladies,and insults me in front of them. He also has relationship with other women.This stresses me a lot.I remove my frustration by sweeping the verandah for hours."
The chore of sweeping became a unmindful act of OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.An Anxiety related condition where certain repetitive actions are done unmindful and hopelessly.
A 50 yr old Lady,consulted me with severe Muscle pain,rigidity to extend every movement...even standing was painful.
Investigations done were normal.
I prescribed her medication, and after a month,she felt better.The last visit, I did her counseling. This lady,had always been athletic and lean before marriage. Motherhood made her gain lots of weight. Now her kids leaving the nest,she had lot of spare time.She wanted to go back to her Body Frame of 20yrs back......She wanted to regain her Fitness and Physique.....of 20yrs back......The excessive exercising on an aging body had resulted in Chronic Inflammation of muscles.OCD for exercising and fitness.
Both incidents maybe different.
But underlying cause- Competitive/ Comparison.

The first lady was being compared to other Women.She was forced to compete with other women.
The second lady was in competition with her younger self.....Herself 20yrs back.

Since,childhood,we are ever in Competition and Comparison .
Either by our Parents, Teachers,Spouse, Friends, Peers.....
Either Compared with them.....or By them.
A very Established and Successful Parent himself compares or is compared by Society with his kids.
Later in life, as we grow.....The Comparison leads to Competition....either with our own self.....or with someone else.....
If the Competition is restricted to just motivation to do well.....is positive and healthy.
But if the Comparison leads to an Obsessive Competition......it leads to self destruction.
Social Media where all of us post only happy Photoshopped and Edited versions....is adding to this Unhealthy Comparison and Competition.

We all want to look good.
We all love to be admired and appreciated.

As long as Comparison helps in boosting us to bring out a better person in us....the Competition motivates us to work hard ....
Fills inside us Positive Energy....
Helps us to fulfill our dreams.....
Leads us to Happy and Healthy self     ....
It's Pragmatic approach.

But if the Comparison causes a Competition inside us....which forces us into Obsessive behaviour,demoralized us,demotivates us....
Develops stress and anxiety issues,....
Affects our mental peace and physical equilibrium.......

Then this Comparison and Competition is not acceptable.

Recently, lots of  children, Women,Young Professionals ..... Big percentage....reportedly are battling with Anxiety and Stress disorders.
Some are even taking extreme measures which affects their health and happiness. Unfortunate ones are even succumbing to the pressures of Comparison and Competition.

What is solution to inculcate in us Healthy Comparison and Competition?????

I feel per se.... Comparison and Competition has never been Healthy.
It's always unhealthy.
Instead of bringing in changes within us by Comparison and Competition......
One must get "Inspired " by someone's achievements.
Accepting ourselves as we are.....
Understanding our Limitations.......
Then Motivating ourselves to do something meaningful.....which will bring inside us Happiness and sense of satisfaction.
All of us want to be Happy.
All of us want to be Successful.
Many of us attribute Successful Life to Happiness.
What is Successful Life?
We watch others Success....Compare ours with others....and begins the Rat Race of Competition.
Professional and Materialistic ( Financial) success is not same as Success in Life as a whole.
Balance of work,life,harmony is what is necessary for Happiness and Successful Life.
Be Moderate in order to taste the Joys of Life in abundance.
Love thyself first ....Respect thyself first.....
That's essential to bring Balance, Peace and Joy..... A Successful Life.